I had a whole other post in mind until just now. As is typical in my home, when guests are in town and there's a holiday, we've got plumbing issues. Serious plumbing issues. On Monday afternoon, I noticed a small pool of water on the basement floor. I wasn't surprised. We've had quite a few flooding incidents in the basement, it's why the floor is brightly painted cement and not carpeted.
This particular flooding came from the sewer pipe located in the basement floor. Yes, we have a direct link to the town sewer in our basement, a hole that was uncovered and seeped sewer gas into our home until the first time it flooded (dukey water, gross), four Thanksgiving holidays ago. Our plumber came on Thanksgiving eve, snaked the line, capped off the hole, and $700 later we had no more sewer gas.
We have old pipes and huge trees in our front yard, trees whose roots crack into pipes and clog sewer lines, which is what happened this time (but we didn't know that until last night, ahem).
On Monday evening, I was doing never ending mind numbing laundry and during the rinse cycle, water began to shoot out of the sewer pipe. Not a lot, but enough to cause concern. I called the plumber who works with our contractor. He's not our regular plumber, but he's excellent and always said, call me anytime you need help so I did. He promised to arrive first thing Tuesday morning to snake the line.
Tuesday afternoon, L shows up and leaves, I assume that the problem is fixed. Starting back at the laundry when will it ever end?? I go down to the basement for the rinse cycle and it's pandemonium. Water is shooting from the pipe, it's pouring out of the toilet and the slop sink, we had a flood.
Getting back on the phone, I call L. Answering with a surly voice, he informs me that he's done all he can, that it's probably roots clogging the sewer line and I should call the rooter man. Not what I wanted to hear. And I started. I explained with an increasingly shrill tone, that we've spent thousands of dollars on new plumbing, (the plumbing isn't the problem he says), that the sewer line should have been checked this summer, that he's left me in a real bind. At 2pm when he was here and thought it was the roots, he could have told me and I could have done something, that 7pm on Tuesday evening, when Thursday and Friday are major holidays, leaves me in a terrible position and I was screwed.
I was heard. He promised to come and try to help. His solution? Send a friend who moonlights with Mr. Rooter to come snake the line. J comes to snake the line and we learn that 75 feet from the house, roots are clogging the sewer line. It's a common home owner concern in our neck of the woods and unfortunately, we're responsible for said line until it reaches the street. Of course the clog is about six feet from the town line and now we're faced with replacing the pipe damaged by the roots, causing clogs. J says we have 2 days max before true pandemonium ensues, we're not convinced. But we're also not going to wait around with our thumbs you know where. We'll talk to L and see if J is legit (J says he'll do the job for $900 instead of the usual $1300 his company charges). It's all good and for now, our plumbing is restored.
So why did I feel guilty after my phone conversation? Why is it every time I stand up to someone outside of my family, I start to feel bad; that I've been too harsh, too forthright, too much?
I have no problem saying it like it is. M is convinced it's the reason I sleep so well each night; I get everything out during the day. But I suffer. I have to squish an overwhelming desire to back-pedal, to apologize. Especially when I've stood up to a man. I know, I know. I KNOW.
I want to raise my own girl with a strong voice. I want her to stand up for herself and believe that she's worthy of her opinions, even if they differ from the majority, especially if there's obstacles. I want A to feel empowered and not like the ball-buster I feel like today. We've come so far as women and yet, some of the rules about how a lady should act are so ingrained, that I struggle. My hope is when A is an adult, that she'll be able to speak her mind and never feel the need to say she's sorry for standing up for herself.
